final week

...In the Name of ALLAH...

It's Final week, and today is already Thursday. But, I'm still not getting my freedom out of this fall quarter. Sigh. Tomorrow, genetics paper will end it for me. Praying for the best after the turned-out-to-be-not-so-good genomics this morning. Sigh.

I feel like writing so just read whatever junk/idea? I'm typing in here.

I used to be an observer. Sometimes I did not feel affected so much when it comes to others. Also, I was one of many who made accusation to people. Bad, huh? That's how I used to be, I believe. Right now, I often prefer to put myself in someone's shoes, to get the feeling and sensation by being him/her/them. As an outsider for personal or business affairs, we can simply lift our finger and point out to this or that person, blaming the guilt onto them. But are we really sure if we're right, and they're wrong? Business deals with a world too diverse, too many people involved, money matters cannot be left out. We say they're greedy, sick, terrible, but that's how world revolves. maybe they're not completely at fault, maybe it's because bad timing? Oh, now I get it how lawyers or judges go through everyday dealing with their jobs. Uhuh, I don't know where is this going though. I'm just trying to say in simpler words, I am being victimized by entertainment industry!! AAaaaa wtfish!~~ *pulling out hairs and everything*

Study. NOW!

friendster moment

...In the Name of ALLAH...

In the middle of lab notebook-finishing & studying, as usual, surfing for trivial and useless movies/manga synopsis, youtube-ing and wiki-ing are my habits. As for today, I just had this urge to log in into friendster, and suddenly I got a rush of feeling of something missing... (sorry for the long introduction)

I went through several hundreds of comments, awhhh-ed upon reading many cute greetings from old friends, intrigued by a number of unknown friends, and such. Honestly, my first intention was to search for some particular special comments sent by someone few years ago, and now I got more than 2300 comments, without any shortcut button to lead me straight to those old comments (maybe at locations 2000++). Really, I need to click 'next' for the subsequent 200++ pages??? So you can guess I never succeed to get to the comments. Too bad.... I really want to read them again >___<

Maybe that's why I don't use friendster anymore, it's too inconvenient...
However, I got to admit, "friendster is too lonely, but full of memories..."


- now get back to study, girl!
- X___X

Japan & Me

...In the Name of ALLAH...

Due date for KIT-IJST application is 2 days from now.
So nervous! I am still in the middle of finishing & touching up my essays, completing anything I need to before submission time. Being stuck in last week before the long suffering FINAL week (which is next week) is really stressing me out. Lucky, genomics presentation has finished, no more genetics quiz. What's left? Japanese final paper tomorrow, another 4 papers next week! *sigh*

Sorry, digressing from the title. So, what's up with "Japan & Me?" It's a fancy title, but sometimes it's important to show how intimate I feel towards this favorite nation.
Honestly, I don't know what is the magnet that attracts me so much. I love too many elements of Japan. Food, music, drama, traditional clothes (kimono, yukata), maybe Harajuku stuff too, unique culture and arts, amazing views of old temples and shrines in the middle of green parks and lake. Its people? Of course, that's why I "fall in love" with them, but not in the sense of lovey-dovey thingies. Their discipline, attitude, respectful behavior make me want to be one of them. I admit, not every Japanese has those good qualities in them, some do show arrogance and ego too. Well, generally, yes. Those are why I like Japan.

Sounds too cliche, right? Hey, I'm not crushing on this or that cute Japanese guy or whatsoever, nor any hot Japanese actors in any J-drama (anyway, I'm watching Korean dramas right now). It's just that...I feel the need to justify my love towards Japan. It's too overwhelming, I think, and I don't know why. どうして？どうして？どうしてきみをすきになってしまったんだろう？？

Effects of watching too much Japanese variety shows, maybe...?? *sigh*

fav quote for this week

"i love you deeply, unconditionally,
forever and beyond..."

awhh...i love u too!!!
>___<

brain-washing

...In the Name of ALLAH...

I might regret this...but deep down I know I should do it.
Let me put this to an end already.
It hurts. It would not bring me to anywhere, just in my own fairy tale world.
So, just snap it out. And, bring back the reality of life.

One thing only, I would always keep jstar around.

chebal, kumanhe!!

...In the Name of ALLAH...

Someone must stop this nonsense! Please, right here right now!
I can't bear it anymore, seeing them in pain makes us cassies deeply hurt as well. Too much poisonous words, too much emotions being risked. Enough is enough. I don't want to side with either party, JYS or SM. Just one thing I hope and pray, no internal fight please.
No matter what is the court decision will be, please stay as ONE.
Stay as brothers. Stay as who you are.

As we grow older, we will always remember you as our motivation, our PRIDE.
Even though you are not on stage anymore, you will stay in our hearts, forever love.

charms of life

...In the Name of ALLAH...

It's incredible to think that life is full of surprises, no matter it is pleasant or makes you want to hurl. You can never predict what has been chosen for you, but you can always change whatever you have power to.

Look at your surrounding, what do you see? Ask people around, what do they think about you? Sometimes, the answer is certainly not what you are waiting for, but honest responds can always lead to better progression. Accept life with open heart, and be fully ready for any sudden change if need to occur.

I'm saying this because, in this few years, I've been avoiding several things in my life. I turned my back on problems in relationships, never wanting to remember the pain again. I ran away from people, intending to keep my thoughts and talks from them. I've been away from my real self for years, trying to develop a new me inside the same body throughout a number of obstacles.

However, not everything I predicted to be are right. Yes, some of the results helped me to stand on my own feet, to survive hardships, to be stronger than who I was. But, there are hidden circumstances of being a stronger person. You have to go through people, yes, variety of people. More emotions are involved. And to be strong, sometimes you forget how to be fragile. In the end, it hurts yourself. It feels like you are betraying your own self, the real you inside.

These words are a bit cheesy. Pardon me for that. I'm just trying to organize myself, to prepare for some major changes in just a matter of time from now.
What do you guys think? It is indeed the charms of life...is it not??