ようこそ! 안녕하세요! (｡◕‿◕｡)

i forgot to include this below. so anyway, i've finished my own twilight saga journey. i finished breaking dawn this afternoon with various emotions. "I finish it! It's over! It's really over!" i was kinda sad to let it go from me, the feeling of eagerness to read more and more every each night before i sleep.

i was so into the world of Bella, leading to weird dreams *i wouldn't call it as nightmare* for several nights. being Bella and tasting her feelings exactly like in the book. i couldn't explain how did the dream go coz it would involve the storyline of breaking dawn. funny, i looked at edward in the form of rob pattinson and other characters just like in the movie. plus one important character who was the priority in my dream, new character in the book. i couldn't tell the details since many people haven't finish eclipse + breaking dawn. or else i would get a kick or a slap!

so people, please finish them quickly! i'm dying to type all my favorite parts of the two final books!

...In the Name of ALLAH...


the title is weird, i know. but believe me, it's nothing near the real meaning. actually, i couldn't come up with one better so anyway...pejam celik pejam celik, it's been an exact one week since last entry. i didn't realize it due to hectic preparation for 3 exams on last friday. no comment on that, though.

it's winter break. the severe rochester weather suits the name very well. there was a blizzard last friday and wow...snow da memanjat to my room window! sgt tebal and putih. very pure and innocent-looking...yet the windchill is killing me! we haven't got chance to make 1st snowman this year, i'm sooo longing for those beautiful moments....*tenggelam dalam kenangan*

in a way, break means loneliness. no one around in parkpoint residence, just us and manche's coven a block away. bukanlah rindu the noisy neighbors upstairs, at least it's more lively with them having house-wrecking-and-who-knows-what-they-were-doing activity there. yesterday we went out for girls' day out. humph, i only bought a new sweater, no more. so i've broken my words to not buying sukahati things this december. Oh my... well it's for my florida trip *an obvious excuse*

in this house, everyone got their own things except me. dila with thesims2, shah with video software + game, tirah with anything she wanna do. i've been wasting my time with youtubing + freecelling + itunesing + eating + other things i could put 'ing' as imbuhan. rockband 2, yes. i've upgraded myself to expert level for some familiar songs. my hands lenguh2 soon after that until now. Ow.

i'm still lonely today. not physically. lonely in deepest in my heart. i admit, doing things to test that someone or provoke expected responses could really lead me to regret. but i dunno how to stop it. i keep doing and doing it. UrghHhh...so sick of me!


P/S: can't wait for florida this wednesday. semoga our flight berjalan lancar wihtout any problem, amiin...

...In the Name of ALLAH...

I got this from an email...
Renungan buat semua...

Kata-kata Seorang Ulama dari Al-Andalus…

Sampai bilakah aku berkata tetapi aku tidak berbuat,
dan sampai sejauh manakah aku tetap berputar-putar tanpa mahu berhenti.

Aku telah membuka mataku akan tetapi tidak mahu memerhatikan,
dan aku telah menasihati diriku akan tetapi tidak mahu beriman,

Sampai bilakah diriku beralasan dengan "barangkali" dan "nanti",
alangkah celakanya,dan sampai bilakah diriku menangguh-nangguhkannya?

Sampai bilakah diriku berangan-angan hidup terus dan lalai,
padahal maut tidak pernah lalai?

Setiap hari berseru kepada kami orang yang menyerukan untuk berangkat,
ingatlah,berangkatl ah kalian!

Seakan-akan aku sudah dekat kepada kematianku lalu kerandaku diusung,
dan aku tidak diberi masa tangguh.

Diedit dan dipetik dari buku "Ar-Raqaiq" (Pelembut Hati) karangan Muhammad Ahmad arRasyid

Semoga ALLAH melembutkan hati kita semua dalam mengerjakan ibadah kepada-Nya...
amiin ya rabbal'alamiin...

...In the Name of ALLAH...


aduhaiii...
ok jijie, this is for you!


1. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Idaman Anda :

a) Understanding
b) Humorous
c) Protective in needed situation
d) Sweetness + caring
e) Matured!

*jijie, aku copy paste + edit sket jwpn ko...hehe

2. 5 Wanita/Lelaki Yang Tak Pernah Anda Minati Sepanjang Hidup :

a) Err...
b) Someone too old for me
c) Too young for me??
d) Criminal in love + laws!
e) Ahli politik mungkin...esp with dirty mind...

3. 5 Perasaan Anda Sekiranya Keluar Dengan Orang Yang Diminati :

a) Hurmm...suka la kot
b) Shy shy cat jugak la
c) Rasa nak senyum spnjg hari
d) Berbunga-bunga
e) Ape lagi eh??

*lebey kurang sama je sume jwpn aku...sigh~

4. 5 Tempat Istimewa Yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda :

a) Urmm...pulau!
b) Meadow persendirian...heheh
c) Special restaurant
d) Tanah Haram...kerjakan haji sama2 iALLAH...
e) Anywhere je la... asalkan ada si dia da hepi da...

5. 5 Barangan/Sesuatu Istimewa Yang Akan Anda Hadiahkan Kepada Si Dia :

a) Something handmade from me
b) Watch
c) Love notes kot...
d) Chocolate? If he likes choc la...not me..
e) Gadget/ clothes...depends

6. Tajuk Lagu Yang Akan Anda Nyanyikan Untuk Pasangan Anda..

a) My Confession - josh groban
b) Can I Have this Dance - hsm3
c) Timeless - kelly clarkson
d) I'm Yours - jason mraz
e) Semoga Abadi - misha omar

7. Rakan Yang Anda Tag Dan Mahu Mereka Buat 5 PERIHAL Ini. WAJIB!!!! Mereka Perlu Diberitahu Akan Hal Ini...

a) Fakhirah
b) Lela Sakinah
c) Midda...hehe
d) Encik Hanif Kp...bole ke jwb? =)
e) Mr.Cool...hah jwb jgn x jwb!


okay jijie, selesai suda assignment aku...

...In the Name of ALLAH...

my babies have reached home safely!

yesterday breaking dawn shone her beautiful light upon me, laughing freely with her graceful yet hard surface...
today w760 embraced me daringly with some heated confession but had resolved satisfyingly...
tonight my precious adopted tumor cells have got new siblings with slightly different 'gene expression' *new medium used =)*

alhamdulillah...
may my new babies would be my happiness in forevernessss...

...In the Name of ALLAH...


it's been a week since last entry. i'm so lazy. i know. sigh~

academia: winter quarter is here. i got 18 credit hours with 6 subjects: immune, tissue culture, orgo chem II, orgo lab, intermediate japanese 1, & research study. yet, i love my schedule. there are gaps between classes and i finish early for everyday except tuesday. but still, i got 3 exams on same friday 2 weeks from now. Oh NO! need to study everyday for every subject *if only i could really do that~* pray for all of us lots of LUCK!

twilight saga: i just finished eclipse. what could i comment? nothing. coz pao forbid me to. maybe she would kill me if i really did. haha! well, maybe a little. i love eclipse better compared to new moon. it has more actions and of course, romanticness. that's why it's soooo thick. breaking dawn is next. my package just arrived safely =)

feeling: i felt sad last friday. something had triggered painful memories happened sometime ago. sigh~ but no worries. i went to francis & john's house last evening to decorate their christmas tree. so beautiful, so colorful. plus, honey & daisy mae the cats cheerfully played with me, chasing the sadness away. then, i went to play rockband 2, being ignorant of stress in studying. but i'll survive.....

activity: i'm calling my brother right now, wishing him Happy 'Eid Adha. before that, i called my mom, talking about many things happened in Malaysia. everyone must have known about Bukit Antarabangsa's tragedy, causing 4 deaths. takziah to bashira. thinking about it, why would people chose to build houses or bangalows exactly at sensitive spots such as beside hills. Highland Tower's disaster should have taught construction company some good lessons about this matter. i, as a observer, can only pray for the victims, may ALLAH bless their souls.

confusion: i got an offer to be an editor assistant *if i could call it like that* for misg's titian fitrah. my comment? i'm not sure of my own ability. i could see i'll be busy this quarter, plus it's winter. i have to give answer tomorrow, as soon as possible. aaahh!

latest update: i just changed my primary email address for YM & other official things. it's blubee88@yahoo.com now. the old one, dutchlady9@yahoo.com might be used at times, but not for YM anymore. don't ask me why coz i don't know the exact answer. please update this to your contact list, ok?

what day is today?: Happy Eid Adha to everyone! Maaf zahir & batin *if i have never ever touch your batin, please just forgive me for everything wrong i've done*

okayh, done!

...In the Name of ALLAH...

"my NYC trip is already over. my fall break is almost over. what am i gonna do from now on??"

those're my internal screaming right now. aha...don't believe them. i still have my twilight series to focus on. actually, i am a little disturbed about something. it always has, but this time it's different. it's like a wind of change rushing over my whole body, anxiety got it's playground here. something's in my mind and i couldn't get it out. i don't know exactly how to react to this news, yet i am aware i should never. 

okay, don't ever think about it.

period.

...In the Name of ALLAH...

i really feel bad for my mistakes in managing my own life. i hate it when i got wrong date. i hate to turn other people down. i hate it when i follow my weak side instead of letting the strong side forces my body to fulfill my promise. 

i didn't go to Tamrin like i mentioned in some entry below. i'm so sorry to everyone involved in my stupidity, i couldn't make up my words. i hope i would meet all of you again maybe next year, maybe in Malaysia, or anywhere ALLAH allow us to. i miss you my friends, whom i met at Muktamar 2007/08, whom shared the fun and happiness together during our roadtrip. not to forget, new friends as well whom i supposed to meet here and there.

sorry for everything...

may ALLAH bless you always...

P/S: NYC updates? hurmm...go read pao's.

...In the Name of ALLAH...

i am deeply in love with twilight saga.

i know...this entry means nothing since everyone is obsessed with same thing too. but hey, i don't care. hence, this is merely an excuse to post a new entry *shrugged*

after the Twilight trailer was out, my heart jolted. i was really excited to watch the movie itself. on the premiere day, oh yes we were out watching it...with no high school kids screaming around whenever Edward Cullen appeared on screen *this is a true experience of some Stevens' at NYC* that's very good then, i had my own privacy to analyze the story plot without any brief knowlegde of the novel. and the obsession began...

i desperately read tira's twilight book during our NYC trip. i read it in PATH train, before sleep, wherever i can get my hand on the book. definitely, twilight in book is totally far better and complicated than the movie. lucky i watched the movie first so that i can picture Edward in the form of gorgeous Robert Pattinson with his brilliant eyes...aaawwwhhhhh... because of that, i read at much slower pace than i usually do to visualize the scenes that fit in all actors. awesome description, i could say...since i felt suddenly dissatisfied with the movie which lacked too many cute scenes... sigh~

right now...i have my own first two series, and i am reading New Moon. so far, it's quite dull with Edward's absence *oppss spoiler ahead!* but i'm enjoying the wide acceptance of Jacob in Bella's zombie life. poor Bella, i hate to read and imagine her loneliness at school. so much bitterness to face after half of our life is gone. it's.......too sad.

this new obsession carried me too far at times. i don't know how to describe the effect to my own life. but recently, something has changed inside. i won't admit what is, just feel to mention it here *numbness start to crawl over*

P/S: Pardon my articulate language expression here. Edward tutored me that.

...In the Name of ALLAH...

finally, time for a trip has come. i'm going to NYC tomorrow until next wednesday. it's already time to put away those monsoon emptiness feelings that have haunted me this fall break. when i think thoroughly, it's only 2 weeks holiday but it feels like ....i don't know how to put it into words. so exhausting. so empty. 

i can't wait for woodbury shopping. can't wait for the view of statue of liberty. can't wait for central park's lepaking. plus, time to dress up glamorously. then, after NYC...i'll be going to Tamrin at PennState starting Nov 27 in a roadtrip, and hopefully be back in RIT more than 6 hours before first class in winter quarter. 

I admit this upcoming week would drain my energy so much by only the train & car trips. not to mention, the various activities i would be doing there. but...this is the only time for me to escape to other places after being stucked here in cold snowy boring old rochester town *toooo many adjectives to describe my exact condition here* sigh~ looking forward to wonderful trips in NYC & Pennstate...

after this break, i wouldn't have much time to play rockband 2 anymore. gonna miss rockband too much! gonna miss fun we had together. gonna miss them. good times.

robert pattinson + kirsten stewart

btw...i watched Twilight movie tonight. it's very.......affectionate. robert pattinson a.k.a. edward cullen absolutely drugged me with his mysterious beautiful eyes. those dreamy eyes...i think they would keep invisibly staring at me for quite a long time. they're very ....deliciously delicious!! haha, plz don't misinterpret my meaning here. thinking of reading all four twilight series already. 

...In the Name of ALLAH...

madness!!!

I got a new crush already. oh no. 

pao! i got one! hehehe let's see what awaits for you this break =P

...In the Name of ALLAH...


it's snowing again...
yet,it's hot rockin' mood today! YEAH!!!

went to naje's place with pao, ecah, manche & adam with the intention to conquer the rockband 2. well, we're not coz the freshmen were there too. but, we got to play A LOT of songs first before the cute lil' freshmen got their turns. hehe sorry guyz, we're so crazy abt this thing! afterlife + monsoon are my fav! i got to polish my guitar skills for hard level, and later i'll try expert. we'll have the battle together later, taufixx! i achieved 80-95% for most songs i played... yay! love it!

then, we played singstar. i had battles with pao, shah & taufixx. i won all of them! yet, it's my first time...hehehehe... singstar not bad, i love to sing but for my own fun... la la la la~

but, when there's fun, there'll be also spoilers. haih. and i'm the one who initiated them! oh gosh, so embarrasing! for those who were there, plz plz plz don't ever ever ever remember those!

really, i had lotsa fun tonight. thanx guys for the crazy stuffs we done together!

...In the Name of ALLAH...


i dunno what to write. i dunno what to do. i dunno what to see.
i hate it when i dun have anything to look forward.

oh i forgot! NYC trip! well, i've been there 2x already. i much more look forward for a new foreign place to visit actually. florida will be in winter...sigh...
BUT! i would make sure our NYC trip would be a fabulous one! prepare to be gedix + glamorous gurls~ *pao, ecahmomo, tira*

maybe i'm kinda homesick right now. without anything to concentrate on. no book, no homework, no assignment, no EXAMS! being like this brings back an awful lot of past memories to my mind & maybe to my eyes too...huuuu...

am i pathetic? sigh

P/S: rockband tomorrow pao!

...In the Name of ALLAH...

finally, i finished my new template. omg i really need to take web design/developing course. it's kinda tough to understand technology coding language, yet it's fun! cool...

hope u guys like it. if NOT?? nevermind, everyone learns from mistakes & weaknesses =)

 

..In the Name of ALLAH...

reminds me to zufairy *tisk3*

Now that the break is here, I really don't have specific activity to do... *sigh~* So far, i've accomplished some top things in my to-do list: rockin' with Rockband 2, slumber party with da gurls, getting my own study desk & some other new stuff...hehe. but buying those stuff had dragged down my account balance quite a lot...huu~ cepat la elaun masukkk! >.<

my goal is now to finish my cross-stitch within this week b4 i go to NYC this saturday. i need to! and i will! i'll show you how it look after it's done *lol it wouldn't be so good, so just prepare yourself*

...In the Name of ALLAH...


Sesungguhnya ALLAH Maha Besar, Maha Adil.

Self-reflection: I should never forget the Power above can show me how tiny i am, how powerless i am compared to Him. But i know i can be powerful within my own self, to be a strong muslimah & a noble servant. you're not a quitter when you quit to be one.


Summary of Reflection: Usaha la setakat mana trmampu, then tawakkal kpd-Nya. Don't forget to pray to Him. Insha-ALLAH He will help us as much as we help ourselves to achieve our dream.

Result: Alhamdulillah i got a very satisfying GPA for this fall quarter!

Speech: Thank you so much to dearest roommate for her motivation to keep going on and take the finals, to precious housemates for bearing with my stressed screamings during studying, to beloved friends for sharing your deep knowlegde during study group, to instructors for teaching me wonderful things!

i *heart* u guyz!!

now......FALL BREAK TIME! Slumber party tonite! >_<

...In the Name of ALLAH...


before someone urged me to update this, i'll do it first.

tomorrow's the start of FINAL WEEK for RITians. OMG. i have 3 finals: 2 on tuesday, 1 on thursday. some other ppl *u know urself* have only 1, maybe 2...and then free after tuesday. not me obviously ~sigh~

i know the fact above. yet, i'm still wandering around my imeem playlist...and got flying away with this new cool song first time i've ever heard.

"Not Ready for Goodbye"

somehow...it reflects something happened 2 years ago...
haha!
okay need to stop.

ciao!


P/S: Good Luck for all RITians and everyone else who have exams around the corner. May Allah bless you guys always, and may all your dreams come true...

...In the Name of Allah...


urm...

dunno what better title for this entry...bcoz someone asked me to post a new entry. about tonight. heh sweet niblets.

well...this one is for you...

we had a great conversation tonight. over skype with one-sided webcam. he claimed he didn't have webcam so........heh. xpela. urmm...then we chatted, chatted & chatted. he sounded quite different, he's sick. haha! tu laaaa tak suke amik ubat! LOL.

here's a note for you: 'teman sejati' over here suro makan ubat but if orang tu tak nak follow advice, so takpela kan...i tak kesah pon heheheh

oh btw...alang2 da open a new entry...just wanna share...today i went shopping again! haha so sweeetttt...i bought lots of item i really craved for! SrooOooNokkkk!!*menjerit sekuat hati within myelf >___< * me, dila & muni went to Red Lobster and had a wonderful meal of shrimps. the world of shrimp. until i feel dizzy when thinking about shrimp again. huuuu~~~ but really, the meal was awesome. need to go there again next time =)

urm...what more? i'm writing this while calling mama. hehe also sharing2 everything matters in life between me & mama. cool. miss my mama. miss my love too. hope you are pink in health & grow fatter & cuter day by day over there~ muah3.

need to update my new photo album. yippieeee my love's pic also in here.


~oh so happy day~

...In the Name of ALLAH the Almighty...


i'm in no mood of elaborating the details of our Halloween party nite at Mior & Asip's...moreover, everybody has talked about those in own blogs *sigh* so i'll just upload some photos.

well people said, a picture worth a thousand words...pictures explain everything...


comment them yourself....

...In the Name of ALLAH the Almighty...


Halloween nite. nice party at Mior & Asip's house. very cool decorations, sound effects, food *eventho i ate little* and kewl costumes! all guests came with own themes & costumes. love them all!

need to update later with pics or descriptions.

ciao!

...In the Name of Allah the Almighty...


OMG. perut da start pelik2. asam pedas tirah sangat mencabar. very spicy yet とてもおいしいですよ。Yummm sangat layannnn~

tgh melagho 5 min b4 start study orgo chem. exam's tomorrow! and i haven't finish reading everything yet! oh my~


time2 ni la my mood to watch movies tetiba menjenguk. haish~

...In the Name of Allah...


it's snowing today

~heavy sigh~

winter comes very early this year. unlike last year, it snowed in mid november. now? eh hello~ it's still october! i hate cold *sigh again* winter depression is waiting for me. i know it would come and haunt me each winter. haiyaa how would my life would turn into this chillybreezy season???

oh well...not everything is depressing actually. i already got some happening plans ahead.
here's my h a p p y list:

• NYC trip this fall break! (again? nahh it's okay. i'm gonna pusing2 all around NYC & stalk every inch streets. who knows what i might bump into?? Beware Uppersiders... X O X O )
• FLORIDA trip in winter break! (roller-coaster & theme parks! my long craves~)
• Rockband 2 jamming (c'mon guys! let's rockin'!)
• Watching fav & never-seen movies (obviously not SAW!)
• Girls sleepover (Yay! Pijama time + pillow talk!)
  

WOW can't wait for those! Woodbury outlets, here i come!


P/S: got exams tomorrow & friday, also next tuesday! pray 4 me okay! amiinn...
also, sedekahkan al-Fatihah to arwah Kandaq's dad. may God bless his soul. Insha-Allah...

it's already monday?? OMG. still feels like weekend.

since morning up till now, few things happened. just feel to write them down.
here they are:

• missed Orgo lecture. again. just bcoz i woke up with aches throughout my whole body, tak larat nak bangun. aduii saketnye badan. ni sume sebab overworking out last saturday. dla, me & tira da mcm penguin pon *i wonder why kentang lgsung tak saket*
• not only me, dla & kentang. tira also missed her 8am microb class. hahaha.
• still can't get rid of my shopping mood. wanna buy RIT sweater but none really fulfill my taste T___T
• received my snapfish pics. so0oo happy! now, a photo album to buy! >.<
• bought myself mocha frappucino. after 2 months w/out any coffee....aaAahhHhh i'm blessed~

can't wait for some other things soon!
oh not all! got important to-do list:

• 2 exams (thursday & friday)
• 1 recitation paper
• 1 orgo chem lab report
• 1 more exam next tuesday!

urghhh. pray me success! amiin....

ciao!

OMG. very tired of getting in two sports in one single evening. with every effort to beat the opponents, of coz they drained out all my energy in my body *well, obviously not the energy to type these all here* LOL

dodgeball game among MySA should have started by 2.30pm. eventho me, dila, and shah kentang almost missed the bus to gleason circle @ 2.52pm (good warm-up run though), it still hadn't started. but good news. many people showed up. 4 teams were set up. i'm in team C with hawa, shah, azlina & jijoh. how come most freshmen got into 1 same team? haih. we lacked 2 ppl compared to other teams so we recruited din & ina. nice~ well...the game went pretty good. Team D with Joe as the strongest member won the whole game. my team? haha no comment. as long as we had fun, it's okay right? lol. but still, the thrown balls hurt me lots. huu~

after filling out some empty stomachs with hawaiian pizza, i continued with badminton. wow it's been a while since my last match. pao, tira, shah kentang, asip & jijie also in the game. later dila showed up. i paired with kentang and lose to tira & pao. Booooo... bluhh nevermind, it's just a chillin' out game. but very tired okay!

results:

1. got a bruise at left knee
2. sweat
3. slight headache
4. kaki melecet

i'm still satisfied, though. oh today saw Bari dating with gf on bus. hehehe. siap ko bari.
tomorrow's gonna swim! so0ooo excited! *wink3*

Today i went shopping. Yay! After 3weeks just being in RIT, at last.....i went out to release my stress. actually first intention is to accompany Tira to buy a new SWEATER (finally!!) and a coat or bubble jacket at Burlington Coat. for winter la katakan...da lama plan nak kuar same2 nih so sangat excited! also, we were gonna watch movie! in fact...two movies...SAW V & HSM3: Senior Year. premiere day of both~ yippiiee~

after Orgo lecture and tira's check over her microb, we went to the mall. first thing, we attacked Friendly's for some meal. OMG. i ate Royal Banana ice-cream (of coz i shared with tira). well...i admit it's quite delicious hehe...with the presence of banana slices there. at least, i don't eat only ice-cream and ice-cream only. then, bungkus2 for the movies later. heh

after that.........

of coz SHOPPING TIME! we went to AE and usha2 this particular coat...waaaa very nice maa. i almost wanna buy it. but it's too short. huu... then burlington chill session. it's been a while i've been here. i bought a new red coat! finally my dream come true! tira just chillin' out with some coats but she never buy one. sheeessshh. Manche called and asked us to watch SAW V together. but sorry dudes, couldn't make it. later, met up with Pao, Joe and his apprentice Shah at AE. we made tira bought coat the one we usha2 before, and a bubble jacket! nicely done tira! for me, i got a new AE white sweater...at last i buy one at AE. haha. so0oo happy.

then, we rushed to Regal Cinema and bought tickets. SAW V @ 5.25pm. HSM3: Senior Year @ 7.45pm. ok. SAW V was very horrid! disaster time for me, tira and pao. just watch it yourself. can only say that i felt my body was cut into two and head rolled down. UGH!!! but then, jiwang hours for us three. opss... maybe for joe too. LOL. there was a birthday party children troop watched together. i've never watch a Disney movie in a cinema. very kanak2 time okayy. sangat ramai kanak2 riang tepuk tangan every and each time Troy Bolton aka Zac Efron appeared on the screen. even boys. haiyaaaaaa. sangat gay okay. we continued shopping at walmart later. then, went home @ 11pm by cab.


Result from today:

• Positive side = i got everything i wish to have. so happy! esp my red coat~ la la laa
• Negative side = okay. i spent more than $300 for today only. including my online shopping of external harddrive. ZOMG. *seb bek duet elaun baru masuk T__T*
• Bright side = I'm happy. Totally happy. went out getting what i longed to have, chillin' out with cool friends, almost puked + jiwang2 in movies. eventho i spent 5x exceeding my normal spending, i don't even wanna care. bcoz...

....I'M HAPPY....


P/S: shopping therapy is cool...indeed!!!

...In the Name of Allah...


I'm soo00ooo down right now...

there were tonnessss of awful and terrible things happening in my life in the past few days...and TODAY too! i hate myself! most of them are my own fault...and now i couldn't anything to stop them! disaster....Disaster....DISASTER!!!

what would happen to my life right here right now???


idk...i can never predict future...but i know i have to strive my best to achieve what best. being kiasu?? yeah that's one solution...but i'm no genius. huhuhu. rase nak nanges. rase nak balek malaysia. rase nak hug mama! huwaaaa!~~ rase nak hug dylan + cole sprouse juge! *erk!*

i'm gonna let these feelings all out to the world...if only i can ScReaAMMM right now....

oh my...



note to self: be patient my dear self...i know you can do it... (quoting a little advice from a friend, thanks!)

...In the Name of ALLAH...


Parappapapa...i'm lovin' it...

remember this song? i heard it over and over again during DC trip since Tyrah sang it everytime she saw a McD restaurant. i bet she really miss a Happy Meal set. hurmmm talking about McD...i remembered something. haha not telling! =P

okay...so now i proceed to DC trip. how was it? kinda nice. it was my 2nd trip (1st was during last post-muktamar). honestly i prefer my 1st trip without any good reasons. but still, i loved this 2nd trip! i gotta know maaannnyyy new people, and of coz, meeting my good old friends. missed them much. visiting places, taking pictures, eating lemang rendang satay briyani etc, socializing, discussing and inferencing. in other words, some gossips are otw...haha x o x o. too bad i left my charger. my cam almost died soon after the open house at the Embassy ended. i mean...come on!~ it's only 2nd day! byk tempat x pegi lagi! need to rely on others' cam. duhh so sad. we went to washington monument or as we called it pensel tajam. pics here and there. oh hate my jumping pics. i looked so horrid! ughh won't ever do it again! then...walked to national WW2 (if not mistaken) park, searching for NEW YORK stone, pic again. almost played hide-seek there. haha. then again.... walked to pakcik brahim lincoln memorial. i love the scenery here. the pond, reflections, goose and cute getiks squirrels. oh my...totally missed my kampung! next, continued our walk to White House till last 100m. won't walk nearer anymore since it's getting late and our cars were parked far. walked and walked again while gossiping with mursyid. at carpark, hey it's already sunset! pics again! ecah and mior did capture a very scandalous and juicy pic with sunset background. hahaha it's nothing really. but it would make a very well jiwang novel cover. uuu~ and another gayyyy pic of jiji + mior. i think they didn't upload it in facebook. try check it out! rotfl

at night, open house time! we went to officers' house eating + socializing + feeling like our own home. lol. at cik siti's, joe and tyrah taught fatih vandy our 'siler pendekkan ayat anda' language. it was a bad time for jijie to talk using the language. sorry jie =P next, ritians+ ohio stateians lepaking and eating kueh raye + keropoks at pn. anora's, . then we konvoied to ustaz abdul rahman's. same thing. eating dodol durian (uuuu~), mihun goreng, kueh raye sambil2 foruming with ustaz. jijie sgt x bole bla ok. he started intro like "ye saye azizi drpd rit, saye ade keraguan utk diajukan kpd ustaz". sengal. then everyone followed his lead. ustaz pun layan ajer. sronok2. soon returned to en. aminuddin's house. baby his daughter just got home. lepaks again + supper eating at kitchen with new refugees from ohio state, before went up (for gurls) and down (for boys) to sleep. nice sleep, i had to sleep on a lembik airbed, though. tak pasan tersepak muncung air nozzle. huhu my own fault.

on the final morning...had fabulous breakfast by auntie mala which was completely like a lunch. taufiq (K2 hacc) and jab (belang hacc) dropped themselves here too. after some good-bye pics in living room and in front of cars, we drove off to final visit around DC. taufiq and jab led our way to smithsonian museums, not far from u.s. capitol and monument. we visited air & aerospace museum, looking around in awe at those down-to-scale replicas of rockets, airplanes, aerospace apparatus etc. hey, there's space food too! nice. even taufiq who's lived in DC for 2 years, jakun with the displays. then, bought some souvenirs and beli bekal biryani + sheesh kabob, and headed back home>>> RIT. what made me happy?? i rode a carousel there! after more than 10 years, finally i got chance to feel like a kid again (' ',) thanx dila for the treat (^__^)

during returning trip, my musim tengkujuh (as Tyrah called it) visited me again. but yep actually...i'm lovin' this moment. it's not that i'm very happy for these things to happen. yet, i learnt something....a lot. well we had this game: Tyrah as the judge, and the rest of us were prosecutors and defendants. we could ask any question to anyone in the car, then we owe one answer to the person. the game went kinda slowly. so we ended it and started an open discussion session and shared our stories. haa amik kau. direct trus. segan? well...at first, of coz! x usah cakap la. but it was nice in the end. result: i'm relieved. now i can lean over to my friends here and tell them what bother me most without much worrying being laughed at. bcoz they're great friends. sharing is indeed caring...and most importantly, what happened in that car, stayed in the car. ehehe *wink3*

now, cars had been returned. back at home again. school again. what a life.

but just remember; as long as my soul resides in this body.... as long as i still live on bumi Allah, forever a student.


P/S: see pao? i can get over it. in some ways, i did.

...In the Name of Allah...


i'm not emo. not at you. i'm just miserable.

forget that. that's only temporary feeling *exactly that's what i hope for!!*

so, just got back from Haunted Hay Ride. it's fun! at least, it scared me a bit. such a thrill after hell weeks. OMG. the 'hantu2' were crazy. i thought the hayride was not bad, quite creepy especially the shock therapy. uuuu~ but i hate the haunted house! it scared me out of my life!! me, adam, kenya and asmaa were left by ourselves at the back and 1 incident happened. haha! it's quite funny + embarrassing actually. poor kenya...sorry girl.

the car ride to that place really gripped me with awesome moment during road trip last winter. i miss road trip. really awesome experience.
owh hey, tomorrow i'm going to DC! almost forgot about that, heh. ops i haven't packed! oh whatever~ hope the trip would make me get over it.

nice nite.

P/S: i suddenly wanna watch SAW movies. heh

...In the Name of Allah...


i miss you...

yep that's exactly what i feel now. missing. everything in my life. my mom, my dad, my family, my zufairy! in better word, I'm HOMESICK.

it's ridiculous, i know. i've been here for 2 years yet i still crave for mama's warm hug, sight of babah, laughter and screaming of my bros & sis, and zufairy's cute cry. thinking of him makes me sad. i spent time with him in only 2 weeks, and he's growing bigger and bigger each day! why must my cam broken at that time?? now i only have less than 10 pics together with him, my precious love. i miss him too much. looking at his pictures almost getting tears into my eyes. well, it did. he's very big and chubby right now. but his cry is still the same. whenever i called home and he's crying at that time, i would smile and laugh to hear that. i'm so happy to know that he's over there and letting me listen to his 'gediks' cries. once back at home, i was so excited to see him sleeping so peacefully, so i pinched his cheeks and shook his round stomach. he woke up and cried while i got up and ran away from the 'crime scene'. my sis thought it's time for him to nyotnyot susu, but i know exactly what happened. I'M THE ONE who woke him up. HAHAHA! i don't care!! as long as he woke up and menggetiks with his hands and soft sighs. i miss those time!

note to aimi and napie ---> get a baby! FAST!

this is all because ecah. after last night's dinner, four of us (me, dila, tyra & ecah) got into a debate (it's not a fight okay) about perspective. at first, something about chinese being 'tak senonoh' was brought up. then ecah terasa. next, who knows. at last, ecah cried because of her trauma being bullied by other malay students in middle school just because she's a chinese. duh. so racist. i felt so guilty for getting her in that hot debate. in comforting her, i felt like i was so old. such like a mom comforting her lil daughter. heh. since that moment, suddenly i was homesick. wuaaaaa.

i called home, no answer. i called mama at school, she's in class. luckily, she's 5 minutes away to finish class. so we chatted and chatted for almost 1 hour, with kids' voices as background. now i miss my middle school's time. it's so fun to talk to mama after so long. then i called my big sis. she's back at teaching and zufairy is taken care of by her neighbors. my sis said," rindunye kat zufairy bila anta die kat umah orang laen." that's a mom's intuition. but hey, i got an auntie's intuition!

hi!

different mood today, as you can see....
last nite was a DISASTER! i'll 'rejam lembing' and 'bazooka' my upstairs neighbors next party time...we'll see~

today, is much cooler and calmer. i don't know what had happened. eventho i slept on couch with cell bio textbook in right hand and Mr. Shinbi in left hand. yep my back hurts T____T maybe i dreamt something nice but i couldn't remember it well. owh well....

i need to finish studying cell bio today. at least i should read all the slides. the book is much too thick and compact with facts (some craps too)!! most importantly i cannot flopped in this exam marks as the previous one. no way i'm letting it happen! praying Allah is offering me the best memory and concentration for this exam. Amiin ya rabbal 'alamiin...

nice day, y'all!

~may Allah bless u guys~

it's my miserable night. totally a big one.

here i am, trying to study cell bio the best i can and what could i feel and hear are loud voices and THUMP THUMP THUMP from upstairs. okayyy. here, my letter for u!!!

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hello upstairs neighbors!!

damn it. don't ya ever think this block is only about u and ur cliques! even if it's midnite, there are still other people in adjacent apartments sleeping and such! think about us too! and i'm studying!~~~

DUHHHHHH

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there goes all my interest in studying. instead, im cursing.

nite!

hi.

to myself.

i know this blog is for pleasure only but i don't care. i need something to shoo away some complexity in myself right now. bear with it. even though me myself would read this maybe in weeks, or months from now. maybe years...so wuteva