...In the Name of ALLAH...
sambil tengah busan menunggu songs downloading from Youtube...tangan pun gatal nak menaip panjang2 sket...jom kawan2, kita merenung-renung... kalo ikutkan, memang banyak perlu direnung difikirkan...everything in life needs reasoning, even though not all happened with a reason (bak kata scriptwriter drama Korea)...i used to be hasty before...well, i still am now...but at least i'm trying to be better...
yesterday my whole family went for a family picnic at Hutan Lipur Lentang, Bentong, ~10km from R&R Genting Sempah. zufairy the baby pun ikut! our 1st picnic together, kira macam our birthday present la (his 1st birthday is coming in 2 weeks!). sayangnya my abang takde, tapi luckily he compensated his absence by balik kampung last week to introduce his 'future bride' to us. whoaaa...tak sangka weyh, dah pandai bawak balik anak dara orang tuuu...moga2 jodohnya datang cepat, but! make sure i'll be able to hadir and sibuk2 like mak kepoh, taknak missed out lagi...
so, on the way pergi, i had a good talk with my parents about my future. nak graduate in 3 yrs? 4 yrs? apa nak buat after that? masters or kerja? seriously, recently those topics made me wonder, lebih2 lagi baru bermimpi about a disastrous graduation. my parents come to USA to see me graduating, but i was actually in the audience sebab tak boleh graduate lagi. my disease in making decision is getting worse. sorry dla, u know me best in this matter, haha.
throughout the talk, suddenly i feel i need to be myself, tak perlu ikut kawan2. apa yang penting sekarang, i desperately need to change many aspects of my life. banyak sangat kelemahan diri yang menggunung. i know i actually can graduate in 3 yrs already, but the problem is myself. i'm not ready yet. not ready to face career field, adult world, etc. my other friends dah planning siap2 sampaikan ke alam perkahwinan, nama anak apa, saving accounts sapa akan pegang...wow, memang advanced. tapi betul la, umur dah menginjak 21 yrs old, semua tu penting kan...
the truth is, i really sayang kawan2 sampaikan kalau boleh taknak berpisah. my mom said kawan2 ni bertukar bila masa berubah. my dad said, kawan skola rendah lain, kawan skola menengah lain, maktab lain, kerja lain. so kawan je dengan semua orang, tak perlu ada kawan rapat2 sangat. my tears welled up bila memikirkan how would my friendship with my current friends turn out in few next years. we'll graduate, separate to different careers, kahwin, bukak business. we won't be the same anymore. uhuhuu, it's hard to talk about these things. i'll put it to a rest for now. (T___T)
11:08 PM |
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cookies for me!
Comments (2)
xpyh sesak2 nk pikir kina. just go w the flow. pkir2 byk2 ni buat sakit kepala je. *note to self jugak* hahaha. ape2 pn kite hanya merancang, tuhan jugak yg menentukan.
huhu...cuak gilers ni tau...dah la asek dpt nightmares dgn mimpi merepek2 je skrg...aduiiii dila! bila nk jmpe ni!!