ようこそ! 안녕하세요! (｡◕‿◕｡)

i forgot to include this below. so anyway, i've finished my own twilight saga journey. i finished breaking dawn this afternoon with various emotions. "I finish it! It's over! It's really over!" i was kinda sad to let it go from me, the feeling of eagerness to read more and more every each night before i sleep.

i was so into the world of Bella, leading to weird dreams *i wouldn't call it as nightmare* for several nights. being Bella and tasting her feelings exactly like in the book. i couldn't explain how did the dream go coz it would involve the storyline of breaking dawn. funny, i looked at edward in the form of rob pattinson and other characters just like in the movie. plus one important character who was the priority in my dream, new character in the book. i couldn't tell the details since many people haven't finish eclipse + breaking dawn. or else i would get a kick or a slap!

so people, please finish them quickly! i'm dying to type all my favorite parts of the two final books!

...In the Name of ALLAH...


the title is weird, i know. but believe me, it's nothing near the real meaning. actually, i couldn't come up with one better so anyway...pejam celik pejam celik, it's been an exact one week since last entry. i didn't realize it due to hectic preparation for 3 exams on last friday. no comment on that, though.

it's winter break. the severe rochester weather suits the name very well. there was a blizzard last friday and wow...snow da memanjat to my room window! sgt tebal and putih. very pure and innocent-looking...yet the windchill is killing me! we haven't got chance to make 1st snowman this year, i'm sooo longing for those beautiful moments....*tenggelam dalam kenangan*

in a way, break means loneliness. no one around in parkpoint residence, just us and manche's coven a block away. bukanlah rindu the noisy neighbors upstairs, at least it's more lively with them having house-wrecking-and-who-knows-what-they-were-doing activity there. yesterday we went out for girls' day out. humph, i only bought a new sweater, no more. so i've broken my words to not buying sukahati things this december. Oh my... well it's for my florida trip *an obvious excuse*

in this house, everyone got their own things except me. dila with thesims2, shah with video software + game, tirah with anything she wanna do. i've been wasting my time with youtubing + freecelling + itunesing + eating + other things i could put 'ing' as imbuhan. rockband 2, yes. i've upgraded myself to expert level for some familiar songs. my hands lenguh2 soon after that until now. Ow.

i'm still lonely today. not physically. lonely in deepest in my heart. i admit, doing things to test that someone or provoke expected responses could really lead me to regret. but i dunno how to stop it. i keep doing and doing it. UrghHhh...so sick of me!


P/S: can't wait for florida this wednesday. semoga our flight berjalan lancar wihtout any problem, amiin...

...In the Name of ALLAH...

I got this from an email...
Renungan buat semua...

Kata-kata Seorang Ulama dari Al-Andalus…

Sampai bilakah aku berkata tetapi aku tidak berbuat,
dan sampai sejauh manakah aku tetap berputar-putar tanpa mahu berhenti.

Aku telah membuka mataku akan tetapi tidak mahu memerhatikan,
dan aku telah menasihati diriku akan tetapi tidak mahu beriman,

Sampai bilakah diriku beralasan dengan "barangkali" dan "nanti",
alangkah celakanya,dan sampai bilakah diriku menangguh-nangguhkannya?

Sampai bilakah diriku berangan-angan hidup terus dan lalai,
padahal maut tidak pernah lalai?

Setiap hari berseru kepada kami orang yang menyerukan untuk berangkat,
ingatlah,berangkatl ah kalian!

Seakan-akan aku sudah dekat kepada kematianku lalu kerandaku diusung,
dan aku tidak diberi masa tangguh.

Diedit dan dipetik dari buku "Ar-Raqaiq" (Pelembut Hati) karangan Muhammad Ahmad arRasyid

Semoga ALLAH melembutkan hati kita semua dalam mengerjakan ibadah kepada-Nya...
amiin ya rabbal'alamiin...

...In the Name of ALLAH...


aduhaiii...
ok jijie, this is for you!


1. 5 Ciri Wanita/Lelaki Idaman Anda :

a) Understanding
b) Humorous
c) Protective in needed situation
d) Sweetness + caring
e) Matured!

*jijie, aku copy paste + edit sket jwpn ko...hehe

2. 5 Wanita/Lelaki Yang Tak Pernah Anda Minati Sepanjang Hidup :

a) Err...
b) Someone too old for me
c) Too young for me??
d) Criminal in love + laws!
e) Ahli politik mungkin...esp with dirty mind...

3. 5 Perasaan Anda Sekiranya Keluar Dengan Orang Yang Diminati :

a) Hurmm...suka la kot
b) Shy shy cat jugak la
c) Rasa nak senyum spnjg hari
d) Berbunga-bunga
e) Ape lagi eh??

*lebey kurang sama je sume jwpn aku...sigh~

4. 5 Tempat Istimewa Yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda :

a) Urmm...pulau!
b) Meadow persendirian...heheh
c) Special restaurant
d) Tanah Haram...kerjakan haji sama2 iALLAH...
e) Anywhere je la... asalkan ada si dia da hepi da...

5. 5 Barangan/Sesuatu Istimewa Yang Akan Anda Hadiahkan Kepada Si Dia :

a) Something handmade from me
b) Watch
c) Love notes kot...
d) Chocolate? If he likes choc la...not me..
e) Gadget/ clothes...depends

6. Tajuk Lagu Yang Akan Anda Nyanyikan Untuk Pasangan Anda..

a) My Confession - josh groban
b) Can I Have this Dance - hsm3
c) Timeless - kelly clarkson
d) I'm Yours - jason mraz
e) Semoga Abadi - misha omar

7. Rakan Yang Anda Tag Dan Mahu Mereka Buat 5 PERIHAL Ini. WAJIB!!!! Mereka Perlu Diberitahu Akan Hal Ini...

a) Fakhirah
b) Lela Sakinah
c) Midda...hehe
d) Encik Hanif Kp...bole ke jwb? =)
e) Mr.Cool...hah jwb jgn x jwb!


okay jijie, selesai suda assignment aku...

...In the Name of ALLAH...

my babies have reached home safely!

yesterday breaking dawn shone her beautiful light upon me, laughing freely with her graceful yet hard surface...
today w760 embraced me daringly with some heated confession but had resolved satisfyingly...
tonight my precious adopted tumor cells have got new siblings with slightly different 'gene expression' *new medium used =)*

alhamdulillah...
may my new babies would be my happiness in forevernessss...

...In the Name of ALLAH...


it's been a week since last entry. i'm so lazy. i know. sigh~

academia: winter quarter is here. i got 18 credit hours with 6 subjects: immune, tissue culture, orgo chem II, orgo lab, intermediate japanese 1, & research study. yet, i love my schedule. there are gaps between classes and i finish early for everyday except tuesday. but still, i got 3 exams on same friday 2 weeks from now. Oh NO! need to study everyday for every subject *if only i could really do that~* pray for all of us lots of LUCK!

twilight saga: i just finished eclipse. what could i comment? nothing. coz pao forbid me to. maybe she would kill me if i really did. haha! well, maybe a little. i love eclipse better compared to new moon. it has more actions and of course, romanticness. that's why it's soooo thick. breaking dawn is next. my package just arrived safely =)

feeling: i felt sad last friday. something had triggered painful memories happened sometime ago. sigh~ but no worries. i went to francis & john's house last evening to decorate their christmas tree. so beautiful, so colorful. plus, honey & daisy mae the cats cheerfully played with me, chasing the sadness away. then, i went to play rockband 2, being ignorant of stress in studying. but i'll survive.....

activity: i'm calling my brother right now, wishing him Happy 'Eid Adha. before that, i called my mom, talking about many things happened in Malaysia. everyone must have known about Bukit Antarabangsa's tragedy, causing 4 deaths. takziah to bashira. thinking about it, why would people chose to build houses or bangalows exactly at sensitive spots such as beside hills. Highland Tower's disaster should have taught construction company some good lessons about this matter. i, as a observer, can only pray for the victims, may ALLAH bless their souls.

confusion: i got an offer to be an editor assistant *if i could call it like that* for misg's titian fitrah. my comment? i'm not sure of my own ability. i could see i'll be busy this quarter, plus it's winter. i have to give answer tomorrow, as soon as possible. aaahh!

latest update: i just changed my primary email address for YM & other official things. it's blubee88@yahoo.com now. the old one, dutchlady9@yahoo.com might be used at times, but not for YM anymore. don't ask me why coz i don't know the exact answer. please update this to your contact list, ok?

what day is today?: Happy Eid Adha to everyone! Maaf zahir & batin *if i have never ever touch your batin, please just forgive me for everything wrong i've done*

okayh, done!

...In the Name of ALLAH...

"my NYC trip is already over. my fall break is almost over. what am i gonna do from now on??"

those're my internal screaming right now. aha...don't believe them. i still have my twilight series to focus on. actually, i am a little disturbed about something. it always has, but this time it's different. it's like a wind of change rushing over my whole body, anxiety got it's playground here. something's in my mind and i couldn't get it out. i don't know exactly how to react to this news, yet i am aware i should never. 

okay, don't ever think about it.

period.

...In the Name of ALLAH...

i really feel bad for my mistakes in managing my own life. i hate it when i got wrong date. i hate to turn other people down. i hate it when i follow my weak side instead of letting the strong side forces my body to fulfill my promise. 

i didn't go to Tamrin like i mentioned in some entry below. i'm so sorry to everyone involved in my stupidity, i couldn't make up my words. i hope i would meet all of you again maybe next year, maybe in Malaysia, or anywhere ALLAH allow us to. i miss you my friends, whom i met at Muktamar 2007/08, whom shared the fun and happiness together during our roadtrip. not to forget, new friends as well whom i supposed to meet here and there.

sorry for everything...

may ALLAH bless you always...

P/S: NYC updates? hurmm...go read pao's.